Giving up

I am giving up on this blog.

Mostly because I now have shoulder pain that does not allow me to sleep.  I am utterly unqualified to write about sleep.  I haven't had a good, solid night's sleep since March.

Now that I can only sleep on my back -- except that I can't sleep on my back -- I have at least found one thing that helps a little:

I lay my down pillow across my stomach.

I have a terrible time sleeping when my stomach is "un-grounded."  This was a problem when I was pregnant, because prior to that time I had always slept smack on my stomach, grounded against the bed.  When I no longer could sleep in that position, I learned to push my baby-filled stomach up against Shawn's back for a similar "grounded" sensation.  I learned to sleep on my side this way.  I still have a hard time sleeping on my side when I am by myself and the air in front of my stomach is all full of emptiness. 

Sleeping on my stomach hurts my neck and back.

Now that I can no longer sleep on my side due to shoulder pain, I have to ground my stomach by laying my pillow across it.  It gets hot.  Last night I had a lot of dreams.

If I ever think of something significant, I  might come back.  But let me officially put to rest any pretenses about this being a regularly maintained blog.

It isn't.

A good link

Here is a helpful link about how to get a good night's sleep.

Bad shoulder

Something happened to me.

My left shoulder has been no good lately.

Usually I sleep on my left side, but I have been unable to do that for a few weeks.  Yes, weeks.

I'm tired.  Also sore.  Also, if this turns into something as chronic as my neck and shoulder pain, I am going to get fat.  Because it hurts to move.

Sorry I haven't been posting.  If anybody stops by, please leave a comment and tell me what position you get into to fall asleep...

...and, please tell me, what do you do when you can't sleep in that position?

Nightstands and aesthetics

Laura was home for a week over Easter.

When Lu is home, we watch a lot of HGTV.  We just do.

So over the last week, among other things, I saw quite a few master bedroom makeovers.

Can I just say?  I do not really have any desire to sleep in the middle of an art project.

One of the bedroom overhauls we watched involved a wall (the "headboard wall") that was covered with small blocks of wood, all in varied heights to create lots of "interest" and "texture".   All I could think was, "That is one massive magnet for cobwebs."  I vastly prefer my walls flat and smooth and not in need of vacuuming.  There are enough things I need to vacuum, and I chafe at the thought of adding walls to that list.

And then the bedside tables.  Oh. my. word.  Bedside tables need to be useful.  I do not want a bedside table that is a circle of glass precariously balanced on a winding hunk of driftwood and ornamented with a sophisticated array of candles and glass balls.

I want nice, sturdy nightstand with a drawer where I can keep stuff I need.

I want a simple nightstand with a top surface where I can keep more stuff that I need, and useful things like an alarm clock, something that will play music, and a lamp.

You see, I feel quite strongly that it is nicest to be able to stay in bed once I have arrived there.

(I did not do very well as a mother of babies who did not sleep through the night.  The best thing about that phase of life is that it passes.  It may pass like a kidney stone, but it does pass, and most of us survive.)

So.. since it is nicest to be able to stay in bed once you have gotten there, you can stock your nightstand to facilitate that goal.  Here is a list of things I like to keep on my nightstand:

• A glass of water.  To be exact, I keep a half of a glass of water.  A half glass has always been plenty.  It balances better and is less apt to spill.  And if it does spill, it is less water that has spilled.
• My cell phone.  Ever since my kids have begun ceasing to live at home, I like to keep my cell phone next to my bed at night.
• My Bible.  And other books.  Lots of books, probably too many.  Definitely too many to suit a designer.
• A pencil and some notecards or scratch paper.  That way, if I find that I am worrying about something that I need to remember for the morning, I can write it down and then go back to sleep.  (I keep these in the drawer.  I also keep chocolate in the drawer.  Shhhhh.)
• My eye ointment.  I keep this right by my bed, because I always hope that I won’t need it.  However, I have dry eyes, and at night they get sticky.  I almost always need my eye ointment, and it is very handy to have it right there within reach.  Other people may have other medications or pain relievers that they like to keep nearby: menthol gel rubs, or aspirin or hand lotion for dry, cracked hands.  Personally, I like to have my eye ointment.

What do you like to have nearby when you go to bed?

The last night

If all goes according to plan, and if God wills, this should be the last night that Shawn is gone for awhile.

I don't mind saying, I miss him.

Tomorrow he flies home from Vancouver through Minneapolis and NYC (LaGuardia).   It will be a very long day for him.  I am supposed to pick him up at midnight in Syracuse.

I pray God keeps him safe and surrounds his airplanes with heavenly angels to bring him home.

I sometimes don't feel like going to bed when I am out of synch and out of sorts.  Tonight I don't feel like going to bed.  I haven't been able to eat dinner.  I have a lump in my throat. 

But tomorrow is another day, and I have things I need to do.

It is a good time for a bedtime Bible verse:

Psalm 127:2 (ESV)
In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat -- 
for He grants sleep to those He loves.

Five ways to prevent bad dreams

I have a longer, prosier post to share on this subject, but today I'd just like to give you five things you can do to reduce the number of bad dreams you have.

(1)  Do not watch horror movies or occultish TV shows, and do not read scary books.  I find that even when things do not seem the least bit frightening during the day, at night the images they stimulated my mind to store can go sour and become terrifying.  I vigilantly work to protect my mind from cataloging fodder for nightmares.

(2)  Do not eat meat or cheese after 7 p.m. in the evening.  Rich foods require your body chemistry to work hard to metabolize them.  When your body is working hard on metabolism, your body temperature tends to go up.  And when your body temperature is a bit higher than normal, you are at higher risk of bad dreams.

(3)  Sleep in a cool room with good air exchange.  Hot, stuffy rooms can raise your body temperature and induce bad dreams in much the same way that rich food does.

(4)  Deliberately meditate on good things as you fall asleep.  My favorite sleep thoughts:  the attributes of God (start here for an alphabetical list of them).

(5)  Make peace.  Live at peace with others and with God so that disturbing thoughts of hurt, anger, fear and unforgiveness do not plague you in the night hours.

Sleeping with a bad back

This is not a panacea, so don't get the wrong idea.  It's just one small idea.

When my back hurts a lot, sometimes it helps to sleep on a sofa.

Ordinarily, I cannot sleep flat on my back.  It hurts my stomach, for one thing.  And I find it generally uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, when my back and neck are in spasms, all of my regular sleep positions exacerbate the pain.  At the same time, the one position that offers some relief for my back (flat on my back) is not a position in which I can sleep.

However, I can sleep on my back on a sofa if I pull up my knees and lean them gently against the back of the sofa.

Do you suffer from back pain?  If so, what sleep positions have you found helpful?

Sleep and the Spring Equinox

Today marks the day when the daylight hours begin to exceed the dark, night hours in a 24-hour day.

My spirits always begin to rise as soon as we get past the Winter Solstice which is also usually my birthday and right before Christmas.  My spirits rise because at that point, the days begin to lengthen rather than shorten, and that is a very encouraging thought, even though the daylight hours are still short in mid-winter.

Today we mark the beginning of my favorite quarter of the year, the time between the Vernal Equinox and the Summer Solstice.  Today there is equal sunlight and darkness, and after today... after today the darkness will recede while the daylight hours lengthen until we reach that glorious day, the longest day of the year, the Summer Solstice.

I am surprised that there is no major holiday on the Summer Solstice (it's June 20 this year).  Christmas is at the Winter Solstice, Easter is near the Vernal Equinox, and Halloween is (loosely) near the Autumnal Equinox.  All we have around Summer Solstice time is the Fourth of July.  It always seems strange (and wasteful) that on the holiday nearest the Summer Solstice, we wait for the long hours of sunshine to pass so we can shoot off fireworks in the dark.  But whatever.  We have some nice parades and picnics.  I guess God didn't figure we needed much additional cheer on the longest day of the year; just its being what it is is gift enough.

So... I guess it's time to get out of hibernatory mode and start to enjoy the light.  We're good until September 22 when the Autumnal Equinox arrives, after which the days once again begin to be shorter than the nights.

I always feel a little bit panicked between the Summer Solstice and the Autumnal Equinox, as the days are shortening, even though they are still on their long half of the year.

After the Autumnal Equinox until the Winter Solstice, I downright fight depression.  But after many years of this, at least I always know that I will be feeling quite a bit better, even by January 1.

But today, today I bask in the glory of the next three months, the hope, the light, the promise.

And I will need a little less sleep,

and the bright mornings will be sweet,

and the warmth of the sun will soothe my muscles and melt my mouth into a smile.

Use your day well.  Tire yourself in a healthy way during the daylight.  And then sleep at peace.

Too much travel

My husband has been traveling too much.

When he travels, I get really tired.  The trouble is, so does he.  That puts us at risk for conflict, because each of us thinks the other should feel sorry for... well, I don't know how to put it succinctly and grammatically, but I think he should feel sorry for me, and he thinks I should feel sorry for him.


He's in Las Vegas on the 20th floor of some schmantzy hotel with a fabulous view of the strip.

I am here, being woken up by small dogs who bark at me to serve them their food and let them out in the morning.

It's warm, unseasonably warm, and I slept fine without the bed warmer.  The sun is shining and I should be light of heart.

I need to buy tickets to the high school musical in which Jon is playing his trumpet.  I also need to run errands: the drugstore and the Dollar Store.  I need to scoop poop out of the backyard, wash the kitchen floor, vacuum the better part of the downstairs, do two loads of laundry, walk the dogs and figure out what to make for supper.  Of course there are always dishes to be washed, and I haven't made the beds yet.  I should change my sheets, but I'll wait until right before Shawn gets home so they're fresh for him.  A couple nights of sleeping in less-than-fresh sheets is no big deal for me.  I wash my face and feet before I go to bed, but I shower in the morning (well, at any rate, I shower before I go out for the day).

If I went out and got a massage and a pedicure, it might be easier for me to feel sorry for Shawn when he gets home.

But I probably won't do that.

Another Bedtime Bible Reading

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory. 

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
    my lips will praise you. 

So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

 

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, 

when I remember you upon my bed,
    and meditate on you in the watches of the night; 

for you have been my help,
    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. 

 My soul clings to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8, ESV

Daylight Savings Time -- Five reasons to pitch it

I do not like Daylight Savings Time.  In fact, I think I hate it.

1.  Daylight Savings Time messes with our sleep cycles something awful.  It is worst in the fall when we gain an hour.  But it is plenty bad in the spring when we lose an hour, too.  When I was young, I thought it was cool to gain an hour.  Later in life, when I had small children, I realized that babies sleep when they sleep, and an extra hour is never applied to their night, so adding an extra hour to one of their days just makes them tired and cranky for many more days.  We did not have quite this same problem with losing an hour in the spring, but...

2.   Losing an hour in the spring is psychologically defeating.  We finally get to March, longer daylight hours, and sunrise before the school bus arrives at 6:55 a.m.  Then... we turn our clocks ahead so that we essentially get up at 5:something a.m. instead of 6:something a.m. and it is dark in the morning all over again (my husband calls it, "getting up at O-Dark-Hundred").

3.  Daylight Savings Time makes me sick.  Literally.  I feel sick for at least a week each time I jerk the time around.  Although I recognize that my fibromyalgia and other extenuating factors make Daylight Savings a bigger hardship for me than for many heartier people, research shows that productivity at work lags during the days after a time change.

4.  There is no good reason for the time change.  A few sane states have abolished it.  It is simply a dinosaur, a social experiment turned tradition which we carry out each year, twice, with no reason or explanation.

 5.  I don't think God meant us to play with time, hence there are not good results when we do.   Noon should be noon, when the sun is at its apex, and time should proceed with that as a marking point, an absolute, a standard.  We ought not mess with the rhythm of life.  Period.  The end.

Alarm clock woes

Do you ever struggle with your alarm clock?

My older son, David, does incredibly weird things with his.  For one thing, his clock is set one hour and ten minutes ahead of regular time.

(I cannot imagine what he is going to do this weekend when we "spring ahead" for Daylight Savings.)

There are times when David wakes up in the middle of the night and resets his clock, or his alarm.  Sometimes he does this in his sleep and is unaware.

Surprisingly, I think I've only had to rescue him in the morning twice all year.

This morning it was me that messed up, though.

Two nights ago, going to bed after the momentous occasion of David's Junior Saxophone Recital, I turned off my alarm because I was so shot.  Also because I knew that I would panic and be completely unable to sleep if I was anticipating an alarm at 6:30 a.m.  By a decision made in advance, we slept in until we woke naturally, and I drove my younger son to school late.

That was two nights ago.  And that night I did not get a good rest.  So last night I was again exhausted when I went to bed... exhausted, not overstimulated like the previous night, and having consumed the maximum recommended dose of Valerian capsules.

I forgot to turn my alarm back on.

So we overslept again.  This time it was not on purpose.  I woke up at 7:49 and delivered Jon to school (travel mug of coffee in hand) by 8:03.  Rather than feeling discouraged, I am pretty impressed with myself.

I came home and did a few things, mostly breakfasty ones.  Then my husband, who was upstairs getting ready to go to work, asked me if I wanted him to make the bed.  I said no.

I crawled in and took a nap until 11:21.  Taking a nap was on my to-do list yesterday, but it took until this morning to get around to it.

Dealing with a non-ideal night.

Last night I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep.

I was exhausted because we had a HUGE day, my son David's Junior Saxophone Recital.  Technically, it started at 8 p.m. (although we'd all been preparing our separate parts for days, David for weeks and months).  The music finished at 9:30, and the reception was over a bit after 10:30.  By 11 p.m. we were driving home, and by midnight we had unloaded the van and put most of the leftover food away.

There is still a giant cooler containing a few cans of soda, sitting between my mudroom and my kitchen table.  A bin full of unidentified dry goods graces the family room.

There's only so much you can take care of when you are that tired.  I was tired enough to simply drop, but once I hit the sheets, I could not get to sleep.

No matter how I lay, one or the other of my arms was bent awkwardly and would go numb and tingly within a few moments.  I couldn't get comfortable.

I know I do not wish for an arm amputation.  I know that.  I had to keep reminding myself that.

My mind was so full of all the events of the night, I couldn't even focus on the attributes of God.

And this was after two cups of nice, hot Valerian tea.

Some nights you just have to give in.  You can't get too bent out of shape about it.  You have to let your mind spin, and lie there in the dark trying to be still and warm.  If you don't freak out and panic, you will eventually fall asleep.

At about 1 a.m. when we were all trying to go to bed, I told my younger son, Jonathan, "I'm too tired to get you up for school tomorrow morning.  You can get yourself up.  Or if you can't, I'll just get you up when I wake up, and I'll take you to school then.  You need your sleep, too.  It's a Monday for goodness' sake."

I fell asleep at about 2:23 a.m.  I woke up shortly before 8 a.m. without an alarm clock.  I took Jonathan to school after we'd sort-of-breakfasted*, arriving a little before 9 a.m.

And life continues.

*There is an odd phenomenon that when you are getting a ton of food ready for a holiday or special event,
 the normal cooking and shopping doesn't happen, 
and in the end you are often at a loss for, say, eggs... 
and bread that could be toasted for breakfast.

Getting ready for bed -- Ten Relaxing Steps

In an ideal world, this is how I would get ready for bed:

1. I would finish my last tasks of the day and then have a nice, warm cup of herbal tea.
2. Relaxed and hydrated, I would begin to walk around my house, checking that the doors are closed and locked, turning off everything I could possibly turn off: the TV, radios, computers, and of course most of the lights.  I would particularly make sure to turn off all fluorescent-type lights and just leave a minimum of gentle yellow bulbs glowing a path up to the bedrooms.  I would do this at 10 p.m.
3. After the house was quiet and dim, I would find a CD of soft classical music or other instrumental music--with no words--and put it on to play quietly in my CD alarm clock.
4. Since this is an ideal world, my bedroom is tidy and looks restful.  I’d spend the next ten minutes on the bedroom floor, stretching out my legs and neck.
5. I would turn on my space heater in my bathroom and wash myself with warm water, massaging my face by the Oil Cleansing Method, rinsing, patting dry.  If my feet were cold or dirty from going barefoot, I would wash them with warm water.
6. I put on my pajamas.  I like to sleep in cotton.  It doesn’t matter if it is knit, woven or flannel, but I love cotton the most.  I also like to sleep in pale blue, it just seems such a nice, relaxing night-time color.  Putting on pajamas can be a cold endeavor in the winter.  There is something not-very-sleepy about taking off one’s warm clothes and trading them for a cold set of pajamas.  In an ideal world, during winter I would  warm my pajamas before I put them on, maybe on an electric towel warming bar.   
7. Washed, dressed, relaxed... I brush my teeth,  go to the bathroom and wash my hands.  If I ache, I take a couple of Tylenol, some magnesium, and maybe some Valerian.
8. I climb into bed, lean back, and read a Psalm (23 or 62 or 63 or 86 or 104).
9. I turn off the lamp on my nightstand, the last light in the house, and I turn off the music.   I snuggle down under my covers, into my pillows, closing my eyes.
10. In my mind, I silently list the attributes of God, going through them alphabetically, resting my mind on His promises of who He is and thanking Him.  The first one is, “God is able.”  Often, that alone is enough to send me into peaceful slumber.

Do you have a bedtime routine?  Have you ever done any of the things I do?  Do you do  anything special before you go to bed?

Sweet lavender dreams

Here is a very short, sweet hint for enhancing your sleep experience:

(1)  

Buy a bottle of lavender essential oil.

(2)  

Sprinkle 2-3 drops on your pillowcase 

right before you go to bed.

(3)  

Turn out the lights, 

lie down under your covers, 

close your eyes, 

and take some deep breaths.

Lavender essential oil is very safe.
Most people can put it directly on their skin
-- without diluting it in a carrier oil --
with no adverse effects.

My daughters and I sometimes massage lavender essential oil into our temples
and along our hairline when we have a migraine.
If you massage lavender essential oil right into your hairline,
it can be a powerful sleep aid, too.

*******

P.S.  Please make sure that you are not allergic to lavender before you try any of this.  It would be good if you determined that you like the scent pretty well, too.  You may not love it at first; as with coffee, the appreciation for lavender often evolves over time.  So don't count it out if you are not in love with it right away.  However, before you slather it on your person or your bed, make sure it isn't a scent that you "can't stand".  A word to the wise.

Learning to forgive: three "simple" steps

Sometimes an unforgiving heart can cost a person a lost of rest.

God tells us to forgive.  He says we should forgive as we have been forgiven .  This does not mean that we can say, "Well, she didn't forgive me, so I'm not going to forgive her."  We are not to forgive as others have forgiven us.  We are to forgive as God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).  God did not wait until we came repentantly asking for forgiveness.  He made the decision to forgive us, in Christ, while we were still sinners.

So if you are lying in your bed, tossing and turning and hurting, unable to sleep because of something somebody did to you... make the decision to forgive that person.  I will give you two good reasons why you should do this:

(1)  God commands it.  (Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 6:37, Luke 11:4, Luke 17:3-4)
(2)  You will not have peace until you do.

You cannot control what anybody else does.  You can only control what you do.  Do not surrender your peace to someone else's actions which you cannot control.  Forgive, for your own peace of mind.

Forgiveness does not mean

...you say, "It's ok what you did; I don't mind."

Forgiveness means

...you say, "I don't like what you did,
but I am going to let it go and leave it between you and God.  

I trust my Heavenly Father to take care of me.  God loves me and watches over me.  

He provides my peace and comforts me when I am sad."  

(Psalm 56:11, Psalm 118:6,  Romans 12:14-19, Hebrews 13:6).

*******

So I promised you three "simple" steps.  Here they are:

Step 1
Decide to forgive.  This is an act of the will.  Just say the words, no matter how your insides feel.  Say, "By the grace of God, I am going to forgive this person for doing this to me."

Step 2
Turn it over to Jesus.  Again, this is an act of the will and does not depend on your emotions.  The next time the person's face or name, or the thing the person did to you comes into your mind, force yourself to pray for the person.   Say, "God, please help me.  Please bless this person, and show Yourself in this person's life.  Please reveal truth to this person, according to Your perfect wisdom.  Please change and heal the broken places in this person's heart that caused this person to hurt me.  And, Jesus, please help me to trust You."

Step 3
Go back through steps 1 and 2 as many times as you need to.  Don't give up.  Eventually, you will feel better. (1 Thessalonians 5:23)

*******

There may not be reconciliation.  Jesus died on the cross so that forgiveness would be available to the whole world.  He paid the price for every single sin: past, present and future.  However, although forgiveness is available, God does not automatically apply it to all mankind.  People have to ask for it in order to benefit from it.

We are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us.  Reconciliation depends on the other person.  You cannot control it.  You cannot force it.  All you can do is forgive and allow God to free you from bitterness and hate.  If the other person comes to you and desires reconciliation, then glory be!  If not, you just live... trusting Jesus, letting go,

forgiving.

A bedtime Bible reading

Psalm 121 is one of my very most favorite scriptures to read at bedtime, 

especially if my heart is not at peace. Here it is:

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;

the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The Lord will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.

(ESV)

Eternity in the night

[this is a repost from my other blog]

Eternity scares me. It scares me the most when I think about it, which usually happens in the wee hours of the night when everyone is sleeping and it is just God and me. I lie on my bed, on my stomach, and feel like it is some sort of lilting platform, careening through time and space. I think, "I'm scared of the next life. I'm scared of living forever. I'm scared of being born into eternity."

In the daylight hours I am busy. What shall we do with the mixed up files with the mixed up statements from all the utilities and credit cards? What shall I make for dinner? Are those beans I'm cooking ever going to get soft enough to mash? What time is karate? Did I remember to wash the karate uniform? How about underwear? Are we out of clean underwear? Are we out of milk? Are we out of gas, can I make it to the oboe lesson?

During the daylight hours a thousand everyday prayers go up: Please help me to remember everything I need while I'm at the store. Please help me remember to switch over the laundry. Please help me find a parking space. Please help me merge onto the freeway. Please don't let the dog be sick. Thank you for the beautiful sunshine. Thank you for the great price on grapes this week. Where is Jon? Oh please, please keep him safe. Please help me not to lose my temper. Please forgive me for losing my temper. Please help me fix the trainwreck of my childrearing. Please help me find my sunglasses.

But at night everything changes. The nitty gritty of everyday fades away and big, scary thoughts loom, thoughts that take the bottom out of my stomach and leave me falling, even as I cling to the sides of my mattress. Heaven appears to me like a gigantic medieval church of stone, imposing, beautiful, gut-wrenching. The presence of God seems like outer space, limitless and (against my better judgment) dark, cold and airless. Eternity feels like a black hole that is sucking me in.

I know that God is not like that. He is love, light and joy. In His presence is fullness of joy. Jesus came that our joy may be complete. We love because He first loved us. He is our protector, teacher, guide, comforter and friend. To be with Him is to be free from pain, sorrow, boredom, sin and death.

In the daylight hours I know that Heaven is a wonderful place and I can look forward to getting there and seeing Jesus. In the daylight hours I can say, with honesty, "I'm not afraid of being dead; I'm just afraid of getting dead."

But at night, sometimes, the thought of eternity really scares me.

Warming a cold, winter bed

Shawn has been in Boston, but he's coming home tonight.

In the past, I could never sleep when he was gone, and even if I could get to sleep, my neck and back always went out so that I was crippled in pain by the time he'd come home.

It took me forever to figure out why this was, but I finally figured out it was two things:

(1)  I could not get warm when I was by myself in the bed.  

I figured this out first, and I began taking a hot water bottle to bed with me, thrusting it down to the mysterious bottom of the bed, by my feet.   The problem was, it only warmed a very small part of me, which ultimately led to the second issue...

(2)  If I could get warm at all, I could only warm the exact, immediate area where I was lying, and if I moved even an inch, I would be in Cold Sheet Territory.  This caused me to sleep still, in one crunched position all night long, which made my neck and back go into spasms.

So... he stopped traveling.

I wish.

No, he did not stop traveling.  He bought me an electric mattress warmer.

You put this on the bed over your mattress pad and below your fitted sheet.  It's better than an electric blanket because heat rises.

If you leave it on high all night long, you wake up feeling rather like a crispy raisin.

So you really need to turn it on before you get into bed, and then turn it off.

Except, when I am all by myself (lacking that other body, the one that can actually produce and radiate heat), if I turn off the electric mattress pad, then halfway through the night I am once again stranded on my exactly-body-sized island of warmth.  Out go the neck and back, again.

But... I found a solution!  Our electric mattress pad has dual controls for each side, so...

•  I turn both sides on while I am getting ready for bed.
• After I get into bed, I turn my side off, but I leave Shawn's side on all night.

This has been the most marvelous solution.  The heat emanating from Shawn's side of the bed makes it almost, almost feel as though he is here at home.  Except, I have The Whole Bed To Myself and I can stick my legs wherever I want and roll whichever way I desire at any time during the night!

I suppose the radiation is a potential carcinogen.  You have to weigh your consequences:  sleeplessness and guaranteed neck spasms vs. potential cancer...

Short term certainties are hard to bear for the sake of long term possibilities.

Dogs in the night

My dog sleeps under my bed.

Except, right now he looks like this:

Poor little guy.  He chewed off his dew claw last week.

Why???

I doubt that we will ever know.  But the vet had to surgically remove the remainder of the dangling claw, and now tiny, white Piper has to wear a cone for two weeks.

The upshot is that he does not fit under my bed with his cone on.  Well, he could... if he were brave enough to bear a bit of friction (the cone squeezing under the bed frame) followed by a little "pop" (the cone expanding back to its intended shape under the bed).  But he is not brave at all, and so he has not been sleeping under the bed.

And the upshot of that is that he sleeps by the side of the bed, and I keep stepping on him in the wee small hours.

There are very few sensations less pleasant than stepping on a decrepit 12-year-old dog in the middle of the night.  It is unpleasant when he growls and snaps (very small threat there, as most of his teeth are gone now).  It is even more unpleasant when he makes no sound at all; that's just plain disconcerting.

For a few more days, I'm going to need to concentrate on coming fully awake in the night, awake enough to be mindful to watch out for the little dog huddled forlornly by the side of my bed.

If you liked this post, you can read more about Piper here and here.

Do you have issues with pets and sleep?

Bedtime stretches

One of my biggest problems at bedtime:  aching legs.

I can be just fine... until I slip under the covers and try to find a comfortable position.  All at once my legs, particularly my knees, start to ache.  If I try to hold them still, I end up twitching.  If I wiggle them around and rub them, I keep my husband awake.  Actually, when I try to hold still and can’t, the twitching disturbs him, too.  The poor guy is just about as cursed by this as I am, because of the secondary effects.

Over the years I have tried many things:

• rubbing my knees with arnica gel before I go to bed
• taking two extra strength acetaminophen pills
• drinking milk (calcium) and eating a banana (potassium) for a snack in the late evening
• drinking tonic water (quinine)
• taking a calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement at bedtime

All of these things help sometimes and none of them helps every time.

I finally went to the doctor because of my fibromyalgia.  If you have fibromyalgia, you know how much help it is to go to the doctor.  Ha.  Anyway, the family practice doctor referred me to a rheumatologist who referred me to an endocrinologist.  None of them really helped the overall issue...

But when I was at the rheumatologist, she mentioned to me that... I might try stretching out my hamstrings before I go to bed. 

Why had this never occurred to me?

Now I like to spend the evening stretching in front of the fireplace while the family is watching TV.  It helps if I do this in front of the fireplace, because heat increases flexibility.  On nights when nobody has time to watch TV, I just stretch in my bedroom, but it’s nicest when I can do it in the middle of family time.

The best stretch I’ve found is  the old V stretch  where you sit on the floor with your legs in a V and...

• Stretch to the left, touch your head to you knee (or as close as possible). 
• Stretch to the right, touch your head to you knee (or as close as possible).
• Stretch to the center, touch your head to the floor (or as close as possible).

Hold each stretch for 10-30 seconds, working up as you become more flexible.  Repeat through the stretches three times or more.  Be sure to stretch both sides equally!

• Afterwards, I like to stand up and bend over and touch my toes a few times.  

• Following that, I do a neck stretch from side to side (like the first picture you see in this link).

I’ve found that when I spend  a tidy little chunk of time stretching in the evening, I spend a lot less time tossing and turning with leg cramps after I go to bed.

Do you have any hints for getting your muscles ready for sleeping?

A crazy night-time experience

I am going to tell you a story.

My friend Ann first told it to me.  It is a true story, but I'm sure I will get the details messed up  (confession: I love making up my own details).  So although I cannot claim that this story came from my imagination, neither can I claim it as solid fact.

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it...

Once upon a time... when my friend Ann was in college, she shared an apartment with a group of other girls, and she shared a bedroom with one of them whom we shall call Barb.  These girls did all the things college girls do, like baking cookies and having pajama parties and staying up far too late, studying.

Although Ann and Barb often existed on completely different schedules, they sometimes did end up sleeping at the same time.

One such night, when thick nocturnal clouds hung between earth and the starry hosts (which would have lent some relief from the blackest darkness), both Ann and Barb lay in their respective beds in their bedroom, snoozing peacefully.

Suddenly a bloodcurdling scream tore Ann from her slumber.  She sat bolt upright in her bed as Barb howled the primordial shriek of death.

"What's the matter?"  Ann called out.

"My face!"   gasped Barb.  "He has his hand over my face!  He's trying to suffocate me!  AHHHHHH!!!  AHHHHHH!!!"

Ann leapt from her bed and flipped on the light switch, ready to face down and mangle the intruder (really; you have to know Ann).

She armed herself with a large, heavy textbook and strode to Barb's bedside.  "If I hit him hard with the book on the side of his head, I can probably take out his jaw and knock him unconscious," she thought quickly.

But as she looked down at Barb, Ann did not see an intruder.  All she saw was Barb's left arm, oddly twisted up behind her head, and Barb's left hand drooping down over her own face.

Barb continued to scream and thrash about, trying to get her face out from under the hand.

"Umm.  That's your own hand."  Ann informed her.  Dryly.

It was asleep, that hand.  Totally and completely numb.  As consciousness swept over Barb, she realized that she was unable to push the hand off her face because she was somehow missing one of her own arms.  It all started to come clear.

They spent some time massaging the immobilized limb, restoring blood-flow. 

The end

An indulgent “nightcap”

Today we are going to talk about homemade cocoa, from scratch.  My son Jon is the bomb at making homemade cocoa from scratch, and he has all kinds of specialized, individualized varieties.

I really don’t approve of drinking cocoa, but I sometimes do it anyway because it is a delicious, luxurious and comforting way to end a day.  That said, I need to level with you: it’s high in sugar and sometimes even has some caffeine, due to the cocoa and chocolate content.

So do not take this as an endorsement, or as any kind of promise that drinking a cup of homemade cocoa before bed will help you sleep.  It very well might not.  However, there are some people (not me!) who can even drink coffee before bed and sleep fine.

If you don’t think cocoa will hurt you, you might want to try it.  At any rate, it is undeniably delicious.  Here is the recipe for one large mug:

Homemade mug of cocoa
(basic recipe)

2 tsp. unsweetened natural cocoa powder
2 tsp. sugar
2 Tbsp. boiling water
1 and 1/2 cups hot milk

(You should heat the milk on the stove-top, just to where it begins to form tiny bubbles around the edge of the pan.  We often heat it in the microwave instead, for two minutes, for convenience, even though microwaves are evil.  My son Jon hates microwaves and would generally prefer to eat cold food rather than microwaved food, but he bends for this one particular recipe, just because it works.)

Stir the cocoa powder and sugar together in the bottom of a large mug.

Add boiling water and stir until completely dissolved.

 This is a really lacking picture, but I was freaked out by the process of trying to pour boiling water with my left hand (I am not left-handed) while pushing the shutter button on my camera with my right hand.  So I figured it was good enough.  You can see how I was spilling if you look close.

 Stir until there are no lumps or powdery spots like the ones you can see here.

Stir in hot milk.

Enjoy!!

Variations:
(this is where Jonathan gets fancy)

(1)  ADD 2 Tbsp. of chips (chocolate, butterscotch, white chocolate, etc.)
with the cocoa powder and sugar--make sure these melt completely when you stir in the boiling water,  before you add the milk.

(During this step)

(2)  ADD 1/8-1/4 tsp. extract (vanilla, peppermint, coconut, almond, etc.) with the milk


Different variations:

Use white chocolate chips and peppermint extract to make a Christmas Delight Cocoa.

Use  butterscotch chips and coconut extract  to make Seven Layer Bar Flavored Cocoa.

Use  semisweet chocolate chips and almond extract to make Black Forest Cocoa.

Use  milk chocolate chips and vanilla extract to make Deluxe Chocolate Cocoa.

Use your imagination and come up with your own varieties... and tell me what you discover!

Beds, blankets and birdbrains

Since this blog is mainly about sleeping, I thought I'd show you a picture of a very inviting sleep space.

• Soft, cozy flannel bedding
• Well-loved bear
• Lamp next to bed; no need to cavort across the room in the dark after turning off the main light switch
• Comforting verse on wall over bed:  "Be still and know that I am God." (from Psalm 46:10)

This is our daughter's bedroom in her apartment.  Last weekend, we went out to visit her and hang some new curtains over her drafty windows.

Daughter and Dad

It is difficult to take a good picture in front of a window on a sunny day, 

especially when you have just hung curtains and would like them to be seen in the photo.

Daughter and Mom

in daughter's living room...

sitting on the futon which converts to a bed.

We the parents slept on the futon.  It is a very decent sleep surface, and we slept quite well.

Our daughter has extra sheets, but we brought our own pillows and blankets.

Funny story:  I was packing to go, and was not sure what to do about a blanket.  Our daughter has been talking about how drafty her apartment is--saying that she needs thermal draperies--so I was thinking about how I did not want to be cold.  

Looking for a blanket to take, I opened my cedar chest, the one at the foot of my bed.  And there, much to my surprise, was my favorite woolen winter blanket, the one I ordered from Faribault Mill in Minnesota, the land of my birth.  I was shocked.  It's February, for goodness' sake.  I thought this blanket was on my bed!

I peeked under my quilt, and there was my blue cotton summer blanket.  Still.  

Well, I'll be.

So we took the woolen blanket to our daughter's place and used it there.  Now that we are home, I guess I'll change my sheets and put on the winter blanket today.  We have at least three good months of winter left for sleeping under it.

If dreams came true

I wouldn't want most of my dreams to come true.  They are just too weird and random, even when they aren't bad dreams.  If my dreams came true...

• I would spend a lot of time exploring strange buildings.
• People would appear with and without animal masks on their faces, unpredictably.
• Cats, rats and marmot-like creatures would stalk me, climbing all over my furniture and my body.
• Most of the plumbing in the world would be broken.
• There would always be an impending test in a class I had forgotten to attend.
• My friends and family would turn into each other at the most inopportune times.

These are just a few of the recurring themes of my dreams, examples of why I absolutely do not long for my dreams to come true.

Now, it would be altogether different if we could order up our dream content.  Imagine if you could just lie down at night and say, "Tonight I would like to dream that I am on vacation on Bora Bora."  And then, just for the asking, you would have a beautiful dream of lounging in one of those over-the-water bungalows all filled with fresh flowers, and in the morning they would bring your breakfast out to you in a boat, croissants, smoked salmon, fresh pineapple and piping hot coffee.

Or you could say, "I miss my family that lives so far away from me.  Tonight I would like to dream that we are all together."  And then you could dream of a grand family reunion--maybe, maybe it would be Christmas with big, soft snowflakes and a roaring fire and everybody singing carols all together in four part harmony.

You could even say, "Tonight I would like to dream that I am eating a hot fudge sundae..." and you would dream of all the creamy coldness and chocolatey gooey-ness with none of the calories.

Except... when I dream about delicious food,

somehow...

I can never seem to get to the first bite.

Does that ever happen to you?

Valerian as a sleep aid

I am no doctor.

All I know is, I like to browse in the natural health section of grocery stores.  Some women like to shop for shoes.  I like to shop for herbs.  To each her own.

Long ago, one day whilst I was browsing among the herbal remedies, I came across an herb called “Valerian.”  The bottle said, “Natural sleep aid.”

Since I often struggle to fall asleep, I bought it.  Why not? I thought.

It worked. 

It is a most amazing sleep aid, because it doesn’t make you drowsy or sluggish in the morning.  You just fall asleep peacefully and wake up refreshed.

I wondered if I were just imagining the benefits, if it was the placebo effect.  But one of my daughters tried Valerian and experienced results similar to mine.  “Mom!” she said in the morning, “I feel great!  No hazy buzz at all!”  Then I found out that my sister uses Valerian as well.  I think it really works... it’s not just in my head!

You can also drink Valerian tea before bed.  I bought a box of the tea once.  I don’t remember why I only bought it once.  We definitely drank it all up. 

Perhaps I did not buy tea a second time because of my experience with the capsules.  Valerian capsules smell really bad.  Putrid.  Fecal.  Disgusting.  When I take them, I plug my nose and swallow them as fast as I possibly can, with plenty of water.  It is hard to imagine drinking their innards steeped in a tea.

I don’t remember that the tea tasted so bad, though.  I think I would remember that.  Maybe I should go back to Valerian tea.  You do have to think a little farther ahead if you are going to drink tea before bed.  Also, it might make you have to get up and use the bathroom.

I don’t like to use Valerian too often.  I have a feeling I’d build up a resistance to it and then it wouldn’t work so well.  I try to reserve it for when I’m really desperate.  (I don't think you are supposed to use it if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or give it to children.)

Have you ever used Valerian?  Do you prefer the capsules or the tea?

When you can’t get to sleep

I have always had a hard time going to sleep.
Something about the quiet and the dark at night makes my imagination wake up and plague me with exhausting thoughts.

Sometimes when I can’t go to sleep, my husband can’t either, because I keep thinking of things and blurting them out.  Poor husband.

I went through a phase where whenever I could not sleep, I prayed.  I didn’t pray asking to go to sleep (well, I have done that, but that isn’t what this phase was about).  Mostly, I prayed for my children, or other people whose struggles were known to me.  Now, I think this is a very worthy thing to do.  However, I think it is better to pray with my husband, out loud, for the children and other pressing prayer issues, and to do it before I try to go to sleep.  Otherwise, it is easy to lose discipline and slip into doing something that I think is praying, but it is really worrying and fretting.

In terms of preparing my mind for sleep, this is one of the best mental exercises I have found:
Think lofty thoughts about God and try to grasp things about Him that are ungraspable.
It offers the following benefits:

•  I am thinking about God, so my thoughts are wholesome and pure.
•  I am thinking about things that are beyond the human imagination, so I never get them figured out.
•  I am thinking about things that are hard for me to understand, so I get tired.

You may ask, How do you come up with lofty thoughts to think about God?

Here are three ideas:

1. Think through the attributes of God.  You can just try to list them, or you can work on memorizing and remembering the Bible verses that explain them.
2. Read a theological book about God that is just a little too hard for you.  It should not be so hard for you that you cannot understand anything you are reading.  It should just be a little bit too hard, so that you have to read a sentence over a few times, trying to figure out what the author means, and then, as you begin to unravel it, you just need to set the book down for a minute and close your eyes and ponder and ruminate... and all of sudden you have drifted away.  I have a few books that work like this.  There are two minor problems.  Number one, watch out for the really heavy books (I’m talking physically heavy, hard cover, five-inch books).  If they slide off the bed and hit the floor, it can make for a rude awakening.  Number two, be sure you have a way to get the last light turned off.  If turning off the last light goes along with closing your eyes to ruminate, you are golden.
3. Listen to a good sermon on your CD alarm clock.  There is nothing like turning the sermon on at a low volume--so you have to strain just a bit to hear--and lying down on your soft pillows in the dark.  A particular pastor preached through the entire Bible, and we bought his sermon series. He is excellent, so I have to be careful to use sermons I’ve already heard when I apply this technique.  I discovered it when Shawn used to travel a lot.  Being frightened at night, I liked to hear this pastor’s reassuring voice in the night hours.  I liked to have his words replacing the fearful thoughts of my imagination.  As I lay there getting warm and comfortable, I would catch one of his ideas and my mind would float off in exploration of it.  Before I knew what was happening, I had been asleep for a long time and my alarm was signaling the morning.

Of course, if the problem is not your mind but your body, these ideas might not help.  Then again, they might.  You never know until you try.